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Top 20 Facebook Quotes

July 25, 2010

Top 20 Facebook status updates collected in the last few months from my Facebook friends (in no particular order):

(1) Returned from exile. Just like Napoleon on Elba, sometimes a short egomaniac needs some time away.
(2) Thinks the BlackBerry auto-correct needs a major overhaul after nearly sending a text message saying “Good Mormons.”
(3) I don’t understand people who have a Facebook profile and no pic of
themselves on it??!! Are you really that ugly?! It just seems creepy and voyeuristic. And putting the same pics of cute kittens, that Obama ‘Hope’ pic or pics of sports teams and ‘artistic photos’ of blurry images is not clever it’s annoying. If I don’t know you and you don’t have a recognizable photo- I am not approving your friend request.
(4) Apolo Ohno uncanny resemblance to Zoolander!
(5) My mafia name is ralphie leathertnuts
(6) “this town may be full of retards and dumbasses, but shit we are still all Americans ain’t we?…” – Jason Stackhouse (True Blood)
(7) Saw a line of hundreds of people waiting to get the new iPhone this morning. These people need to get a life, but I’m sure Steve Jobs already has an app for that.
(8) Wonders why Gaby barks louder in her sleep than she does when she’s awake. The little dog sounds less like she’s chasing squirrels and more like she’s running CAA
(9) Completed his taxes, and now plans on doing something slightly more fun like dousing himself with gasoline next to an open flame
(10) Got a speeding ticket on way into work. This is completely unfair in Los Angeles. If you have the opportunity to speed during rush hour traffic, you don’t deserve a ticket. You deserve a medal
(11) Just learned the term “backpfeifengesicht,” which is apparently German for “a face that needs to be punched.” Once I learn to pronounce it, I plan on using the term quite often
(12) Received a mass email in which the sender wrote “Best Retards” instead of “Best Regards.” The message was sent to lawyers, so I’m not sure whether or not it was intentional.
(13) Curse the Brits! I mean, WTF… breves?? minims?? crochets?? quavers?? hemi-demi-semi-quavers??!!! Bloody Frickin Hell!!!! Is this really English? Who talks like this?!?!!?
(14) Just b/c we went to the same high school does not mean i’m going to accept your friend request. if i didn’t talk to you back then, chances are i won’t be too keen on having your daily minutiae cluttering up my newsfeed. just keepin it real folks.
(15) Oh man. I hope nobody I know was affected! This is pretty typical behavior in my industry where people crunch for months only to be shown the door after the product releases. How about this quote, “we are realigning our resources in order to continue to develop games as effectively as possible”. Well, you apparently didn’t develop the game very effectively if you have to lay off a bunch of people!
(16) Men who are still single at 36 go into the black hole and are not relationship material until they descend back to earth at 37
(17) Oh AT&T is it too much to ask for service so that I can make and receive my phone calls???
(18) Mistakes happen when balls are involved…
(19) Ah f*ck it what’s the point?
(20) Has avoided signing four different petitions today by claiming not to be an American citizen

From → Thoughts

One Comment
  1. Impressive article post on the blog, I share the same views. I wonder why this particular country totally does not think like me and additionally the web publication master 🙂

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